The LGBTQ Thread

[Puncture Repair]

[Revolution909]

[meccalecca]

[meccalecca]

[SuedeSwede]

[Saoirse]

That's actually good bringing up the bisexual community cause there is some actual phobia that exists even within the queer community towards those that identify as bi (or sometimes pan) sexual. Given I have no idea how much those who have told these stories may be exaggerating this, but there have been some self-identified bisexuals who have said they've been harrassed or sometimes shunned at gay bars or predominately gay/lesbian social gatherings because they were with an opposite-sex partner. Again this is going from the point of view of bisexual women so however biased it may be, but some have said they have often been rejected by lesbian women whom the latter assume that there's no point getting in a relationship with them cause they will always be left for a man (the stigma applies in reverse for some women who enter a relationship with bisexual men); sort of broading the negative stereotype of both the "can't-choose" bisexual or the more generally homophobic idea that bisexuality is just someone going through a "gay phase"- or when taking the fact that there's sort of this unspoken notion that a man being bisexual "is ridiculous" (that's why famous bisexuals Freddie Mercury and David Bowie were always labeled as "gay" despite being open about their relationships & sexual experiences with both men and women) and that a majority of people that want to end up with men ( ). Given there's also the negative stereotype that bisexual individuals are somehow more promiscious or prone to cheating than gay or straight individuals, despite many reporting happy, magnanimous relationships with partners of both sexes.

For the most part while mainstream society & media is only just really starting to (or at least trying) to understand the gay&lesbian community and provide more positive portrayels of them in the media, there still seems to be a confusion about what truly is bi, or pan, sexuality, and they don't seem to really know how to understand what bisexuality really means and how to really portray them accurately in films, tv, news specials etc, so that's why they have even less visible identity in the media than gay or lesbian individuals (and why you have plenty of "gay" characters who often sleep with men and women). And there obviously is more of a perhaps lavacious, male-gaze interest in bisexual women than men so that's why more women are often portrayed as bisexual than men. But there still seems to be a fear of using the "bi" word. Given even perhaps the most visible and widely-known bisexual characters, who have had relationships or explicit sexual or romatnic interest in both sexes, in western media (Piper Chapman of Orange is the New Black, Ilena Glazer of Broad City, Clarke Griffin of The 100, Britney Pierce of Glee and Lisbeth Salander in the Dragon Tattoo series... with men it's a barren wasteland, uh, Oberyn Martell of Game of Thrones) never use bisexuality to describe themselves, nor does anybody else. So that's why bisexuality, despite the fact that many people have reported sexual interest or actual encounters with those of both sexes, remains like an uncomprehendable foreign language to even the more gay-friendly creative talent and more open-minded producers out there. Even the Joss Wheedon shows, which were very ahead of their time in portraying both gay characters and their relationships, had a sort of "no-bisexuals" rule, despite a majority of their characters falling heavily under the "ambiguously bi" label.

And yeah sometimes some (make it clear, only some) that do call themselves bisexual may... dare I say it may just be advertising that to make themselves seem a lot more interesting. Im only saying that cause I have actually met people (this is Seattle, afterall) that often were happy to constantly call themselves bisexual or "not into labels", frequently... only to never have any relationships with those of the same sex or show any attraction whatsoever. I do echo some of what Puncture said because yes sometimes it seems like people can toss in the more vague "bisexual" label as a way to make themselves like more exalted, fascinating human beings (given it's not that may not have bisexual attraction, but again nobody needs to profess their sexuality 24/7). Also want to make it clear it's not a knock on those who are bisexual, or who eschew labels but are interested in both sexes, but as always there will be some some who perhaps exploit much of the mainstream society's relative mis-understanding of the non-singular-sex sexuality perhaps for more selfish gain.


Given I don't really identity under anything, mainly cause the way I was born, but if anything perhaps it's the completely contradictory lusty-asexual (given as some esteemed members have told me, asexuals don't have the reaction I did to Charli XCX's Tokyo-set "Boom Clap" video... or "Victorious").

[Kiki]

Wait, how did I read the whole of the above post in a minute? This makes no sense

[HazeyTwilight]

Yeah, as someone who identifies as bisexual, while I haven't really gotten exclusion quite as heavy as that, I have received the comments like "oh it's just a phase" and "you'll get over it soon enough". And honestly, it's disheartening to hear that sometimes, it alienates me more than needed. I remember when I saw an episode of Glee absolutely destroying bisexuality, even their own openly gay characters putting it down as something less than it actually is. And the fact that such an impressionable audience would watch that and think that what these characters' actions and behaviour towards bisexuals is normal just depresses me.

To lighten the mood of this situation and to give some insight of myself, I'm glad that I came to the conclusion of being bisexual. Throughout most of my childhood, I have been taught to be raised up in a protestant family lifestyle and for years, I had the impression that acting a little bit camp would get me weird looks amongst the other students at school, so I thought the ideal way to live my life was to be the typical, straight, white male. The thing is, I don't have the best experiences with interacting with women, or anybody really. That was the case until I reached fourteen, where I found myself attracted to men at my school. At first, I thought it was out of admiration, then it went deeper and found myself having loving one of their aspects at a time, then it turned into romantic feelings. That was when I reflected upon my childhood and found out that I had some similar experiences when I was curious with having romantic feelings with a boy. I mean, I still like women, but I honestly find it more comfortable complimenting and being more promiscuous with men.

I have never properly come out to my real life friends. The only times I came close to it was doing it indirectly and for the purpose of a joke. Even though I know a few people among that circle who are gay, I've haven't been able to do it. A lot of it is due to insecurity issues, possible alienation and all that shit I assume. Even though I know that they're supportive of any progression, unless it's meant for some kind of joke, I keep it a secret. And I honestly prefer it that way. Even if I did come out to them, I know they won't be interested in me because they're straight and white males. Not to say I don't respect their decisions, but I end up being very loveless in the process.

With these feelings of being loveless might be a factor into why I have been having feelings that I may be an aromantic. Especially since I've disillusioned with any signs of wanting to be in a relationship one day or wanting to get married one day. I don't know, maybe I just haven't met the right people for me or I just need to be more outgoing to get what I want.

So that's my best attempt of retelling my experiences. Wow, that must be a lot to take in.
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[Saoirse]

[Revolution909]

I think it would be cool to be bisexual or pansexual. If it were a choice, I think that's what I would choose personally.

I suppose bi/pan people encounter their own unique subset of problems and prejudices, no to be belittled. Often bisexuals in the media are portrayed as unfaithful and flakey, another annoying barrier bisexuals in the real world may encounter.
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