Can't talk long, could be followed. Overheard meccalecca consorting with hooligans, another cookie jar strike is imminent. Will give more info when safe.
Can't talk long, could be followed. Overheard meccalecca consorting with hooligans, another cookie jar strike is imminent. Will give more info when safe.
-swedenman (aka The Masked Cobra)
I have consulted my alethiometer and I can confirm this, meccalecca is definitely going to strike again.
THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL MAN ON BEA
MECCALECCA
HERO OR CRIMINAL?
We've all heard the comparisons, I'm sure, that have been made by the sensationalists, comparing Meccalecca to such controversial figures as Adolf Hitler and GARY - and whether or not these comparisons are apt, his impact is clear: the world of cookies has never quite been the same. On August 26th, Meccalecca was found guilty of orchestrating what may perhaps be the most elaborate cookie theft in modern history. Meccalecca and co-accused pathological Peruvian Defago (who has since been controversially acquitted) were alleged to have, through the internet, stolen a single chocolate chip cookie from the highly secure home of an_outlaw using nothing but raw cunning and a Kenny Loggins mixtape.
"I saw the whole thing," one anonymous witness stated Wednesday, "this guy, this Defago - he was definitely Peruvian. Pathologically so."
"Record label owners are notorious for stealing cookies."
But not everyone agrees that Meccalecca and his suspected accomplice were dirty criminals/dirty Peruvians:
"I just think it's great that someone is really taking the cookies into their own hands," a spokesperson for the People's Cookie Front said this morning, "that such heinous crimes could be put out against someone for claiming what should rightfully be theirs... I think it truly shows what a bad state this forum is in when cookies aren't for everyone"
An_outlaw was unable to be reached for comment, as he was likely doing important science and philosophy. I was on the phone with his PR manager for three hours but we just ended up talking about trees and how it's funny that they start growing towards the sun but then start going outwards, what's that about? More importantly, why do we call them cookies if we bake them? Shouldn't they be called bakies? I left with more questions than I came with. Certainly, my journey for the truth has only started.
Upon doing some extensive research I found that Meccalecca's favourite album was by Blur, a band fronted by Damon Albarn, a man notorious for possibly eating cookies sometimes. But that was only the beginning. Look closely and you'll realize that Meccalecca's name is a reference to Pee Wee's Playhouse, a show about a guy who quite possibly could have eaten cookies in his spare time. To go further down the rabbit hole - in the episode of South Park in which Stan coaches a "Pee Wee" hockey team, Song 2 by Blur is played extensively. That's right, same Blur featuring Damon Albarn. Draw your own conclusions if you may, but I think that what this suggests is obvious.
Certainly, he's a different man to everyone. To this writer, Meccalecca is a man who is asking us as a forum, as a society, the truly difficult questions. Have we gone too far? Is our way of life crumbling like so many milk-soggy cookies, dashed upon the floor to be swept up by the maids of fate? Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
- Jacklyn, Best Ever Gazette _________________ A dick that's bigger than the sun.
I have found myself involved in this intriguing case only recently, when I learned of the Masked Cobra's mysterious message and happened to read Jack's inspirational article. I'd just like to say that it is important that we don't lose hope in these dark times. In fact, I plan to contact an_outlaw so we can discuss what his knowledge of this matter is. Hopefully I'll be able to learn a lot. I'd also like to request my fellow BEA users that they contribute in arranging for the security around the Jar to be increased too. Truly I'm sure we all believe that this most precious object should be protected, and preserved for future generations to take nourishment from; hopefully not in the disgusting way that the cookie-thief did though.
(BTW the alethiometer thing was a joke, I don't actually own one. Sorry if anybody got their hopes up that I would ask it who stole the cookies.)
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