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Tonally Lonely

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Komorebi-D



Gender: Male
Age: 21
Australia

#931 | Posted: 07/11/2019 00:08 | Post subject: Reply with quote
Tilly wrote:
Komorebi-D wrote:
https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.the...erview/amp

Chastity are back with a new album already and it’s being produced by Jay Som! Excited.

Probably going to be afk again for awhile, which is ironic since I was putting the finishing touches on a Flaming Lips F5. Just thought I’d tell you guys because things aren’t so great again, doesn’t it suck knowing that your instincts were right all along?


Sad

Never be afraid to pm if you need someone to bounce things off of. Hang in there, brother!


I actually might. I figure I’ve alluded to it enough that I may as well give everyone an explanation.
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2019: The Special (Not So) Few [RYM]
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Luigii



Gender: Male
Age: 24
United States

#932 | Posted: 07/11/2019 00:10 | Post subject: Reply with quote
What's going on? Just notice this when Tilly posted a comment.
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Komorebi-D



Gender: Male
Age: 21
Australia

#933 | Posted: 07/11/2019 01:28 | Post subject: Reply with quote
Luigii wrote:
What's going on? Just notice this when Tilly posted a comment.


Ok so over the last year (well 13 months really), and I think I’ve told you before Luig, I’ve been on and off seeing this one girl. Back in March she called it off for the last because among other things, the thought of touching me in any way - because the furtherest we got was hand holding - was enough for her to completely convince herself out of having feelings for me. You see, she was molested by a guy when she was 17 and has been riddled with anxiety over sexual things ever since. She constantly would question everything and would make herself sick over the possibility of anything happening. It was a constant obstacle that ultimately got the best of on three occasions and I was the kind of idiot that was happy to talking things over with her and approach it from every perceivable angle, even after our relationship was over and it always left with me an immense sense of frustration at her unwillingness to indulge the thought. Now this is the point where you’re probably thinking, well Daniel, the woman had all these impenetrable walls up and all this happen to her, you should’ve seen it coming. And why would you be so harsh? Well, that’s the thing, I always saw it coming. And even though I hid things from her, she virtually spent the whole time twisting me up in this insignificant bullshit until I was powerless to do anything. Now let it be known that though we would talk sexually with each other and sometimes I took it just a bit far - by her standards at least - I was always respectful and asked for her permission, even with things that none of you would ever have to ask permission for. Plus, if we’re being honest, I was going through a lot of the same things she was, I was ostensibly raped by a close friend. I always knew nothing was going to come of it between because I cut so much of myself out to believe what she was telling but yesterday I found out that they were basically lies. Back in March, when things were “ended”, she told me that she was comfortable with other people and that was only because of me. That, of course, struck a chord with me because I had this instinct that were something else going on. She always told me that it would’ve happened with anyone and wanted me to happy that I gave her such confidence in her own skin. But every time we were together everyone could see, myself most of all, that she was always looking for an exit. Even my parents told me it wasn’t worth it, my friends tried their absolutely hardest to make her feel included and try and like her too. I’m sure it’s not too unbelievable that her friends didn’t exactly return the favour either. Anyway yesterday I found out that I must have given her so much confidence because she’d been doing things with her new group of friends for months. Stuff she would have never dreamed of doing with me. And to top it all off, she even has been seeing someone else for some time now. It’s ironic really, for so many reasons. I knew as soon as these new group of friends that things had changed. Dread infected me from head to my gut, and what was there I could do anyway? I could never convince her into anything, especially since I didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable. It’s also fitting that I picked her because I thought it would be fun and that, at point in my life where my trust for things for so low, I might actually learn to believe in something. So much for “it would’ve happened with anyone”, right? And now I have to look like the jealous, obsessive, pathetic and frankly neurotic idiot who’s holding on, when I was just getting over it too. Needless to say but this is the worst case scenario, like I’ve run numbers and I can’t think of what else can go wrong. I know I’ll get over it but at the same time I just feel like a naive piece of shit and a cuck. I only did it to myself and what I get in return is the fattest fucking “I told you so” I’ve ever known. I just don’t understand why anyone would think this was justifiable? Like that’s some fucking twisted logic right there. At the moment. I’m still deciding whether we should stay friends because I’m going to Splendour In The Grass with and her friends next week and it’s too late to sell my ticket. Oh and I forgot to mention that she wasn’t going to tell me after the festival. What a fucking way to absolve yourself even more of the responsibility right? Anyway, this has been a long and unravelling saga and I probably should end it here. I’m just sorry you guys have to endure reading through this but I seriously thank you for it. And I’m always appreciative of your support. Thank you. I hope to get back to normality - if that’s even a thing - soon.
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2019: The Special (Not So) Few [RYM]
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Luigii



Gender: Male
Age: 24
United States

#934 | Posted: 07/11/2019 01:39 | Post subject: Reply with quote
Holy shit. Even though I have never been in that type of situation that you were in, never put yourself down like that. I mean, I think I mentioned to you that I had a new job working at the post office. Well unfortunately I had to resign from the job due to not being fast with the work. Hell that comment did get me a bit emotional myself considering that I felt emotionally broken because of it. And hell even when it was almost a month, it still comes up from time to time. If this ever lingers, do pm me but if it ever gets worse, you could be like me and go see someone from therapy.

The best thing you did was able to type it out. Hell at least you had a girlfriend. I haven't have shit yet.
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baystateoftheart
Neil Young as a butternut squash



Age: 24
Location: Massachusetts
United States

#935 | Posted: 07/11/2019 02:40 | Post subject: Reply with quote
That sucks. Contrary to what internet insults and certain representations in popular culture might suggest, getting cheated on doesn't make you weak or otherwise indicate anything negative about you as a person. It only reflects poorly on the cheater. From age 20 into 21, I was in an eighteen-month relationship (my first 'real' relationship) with someone who turned out not only to be a serial cheater and compulsive liar, but also cheated by doing sex work secretly. And that's the extremely condensed version... When all the agonizing details came out, I was a wreck. It felt like the world was ending for a bit, but in the long term it was a learning experience, and since then I've had a couple happy relationships. I would second Luigii's recommendation of therapy. It can really help work through difficult life events like this; it did for me.

@Luigii I'm really sorry to hear that. Best of luck in finding another job that you feel good about.
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Tilly




Location: Forest Park
United States

#936 | Posted: 07/11/2019 08:52 | Post subject: Reply with quote
baystateoftheart wrote:
That sucks. Contrary to what internet insults and certain representations in popular culture might suggest, getting cheated on doesn't make you weak or otherwise indicate anything negative about you as a person. It only reflects poorly on the cheater. From age 20 into 21, I was in an eighteen-month relationship (my first 'real' relationship) with someone who turned out not only to be a serial cheater and compulsive liar, but also cheated by doing sex work secretly. And that's the extremely condensed version... When all the agonizing details came out, I was a wreck. It felt like the world was ending for a bit, but in the long term it was a learning experience, and since then I've had a couple happy relationships. I would second Luigii's recommendation of therapy. It can really help work through difficult life events like this; it did for me.

@Luigii I'm really sorry to hear that. Best of luck in finding another job that you feel good about.


This times a thousand. The same thing happened to me. With my Ex-wife. I blamed myself for years. Turns out she was an abusive narcissist. I only figured it all out after seeing a really great therapist for a couple of years. Now I'm in a great supportive relationship. Hang in there! It is not your fault. When someone manipulates you like that and makes you feel like that, the best thing to do is cut ties with that person as best you can I think. Distance helps.

Hang in there, brother! It will get better!

Pick any year, and I'll listen to some records with you. The best thing to do is get your mind off of it! Very Happy
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craola
my name's not craig



Location: Mobile
Unknown

#937 | Posted: 4 days ago | Post subject: Reply with quote
man, it sucks to hear you're going through all that stuff.

Komorebi-D wrote:
I’m still deciding whether we should stay friends because I’m going to Splendour In The Grass with and her friends next week and it’s too late to sell my ticket.

i went through a difficult break-up with my first girlfriend and similarly had to figure the whole concert tickets thing out. i tried giving her my ticket and telling her to go with a friend, but she talked me into going with her. i had fun. it was a little awkward for sure, but it was a great show. we mostly enjoyed the show separately though... thankfully, the place was pretty packed, and we weren't forced to hold hands or talk to each other.

it took me some time to untaffle my mind after her though. all that mind-game stuff is so unhealthy for a person to endure. like tilly said, if she's manipulating you like that, you're better off in the long run without her. it's obviously going to hurt for a lot of reasons, but you're going to get through it.

all said, that really sucks, and i feel for you. if you ever need another ear to talk to, my pm box is happy to hear from you.
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