30-Year Crisis

[Muslim-Bigfoot]

Anyone out there have or had a 30-year crisis? Help me out, I ain't going to a shrink. We were binge-watching Stranger Things; I cried twice, my wife was looking at me like "is he going mad?" She hasn't ever seen me cry. I have been clinically depressed before, but there wasn't ever even a flash of death anxiety. In my twenties I always thought that even when I will be like 70, I will not give a shit about death. But now it feels like I'm losing my grip on life; it isn't going anywhere and it's gonna be over before I become cognizant of the opportunities to live it to the fullest; just like how my 20s were over like a blink of an eye. I just fucking miss my childhood. If anyone reading this in their teens or 20s, thinks in their youthful hubris that death will never bother them, think again. Your prime will pass, try to experience every second of it, with friends and doing things you love. Don't ruin your relations, and never be afraid to tell people how much they mean to you. How fucking empty it would be without them. And it will be, unless you're lucky, you will lose those people. And then all you're gonna have will be trips down memory lane, bitter nostalgia and a loss of sense of purpose. People would tell me these things when I was younger and I'd be like: "stop fucking rambling". Experience cannot be transferred, the capacity to take people with experience seriously cannot be learnt, but everyone needs to learn to contemplate and take lessons on life from other's experience. It seems almost doomed that this will not happen; it's the saddest paradox of life. If you're young and reading these, I know that these are only words to you, unfortunately; meaningless symbols. Just try to transcend that. Your life depends on it.
_________________
"I feel like for the last two years there’s been sort of a sonic evolution happening and I’ve been experimenting more and more."

[19loveless91]

I suppose by 30-year crisis you mean a phase in your life, where you stopped spending time with acquaintances from your educational years (high school, uni) and are kind of getting into the steady groove of the "adult life". I can sort of relate with the feelings you describe although I'm far from settled with anything myself - don't have a regular job, no steady relationships... And for myself, I regret my high school and early uni years in particular, because I avoided plenty of potential interaction and attempts to make friends. I was a loner and okay with that... until I wasn't lol, and I definitely had a period of crisis. In high school I had very few hobbies (other than playing chess and I even stopped training seriously at the time). But then in my mid-to-late 20s I actually started to experience more things, went out more, I worked at a couple of random jobs, where I met people I cared about. All stuff I probably should have already done earlier. I still get that same moments of crisis of course, and I don't think it's something you just get rid off.

But maybe the lesson is, before the time either you or me will turn 70, we'll have many other phases, either periods of crisis, or potentially opportunities to "live to the fullest", whatever this means to you. Obviously I don't know how to do that within your context (job, marriage), but either way I don't think there is or needs to be a particularly set course to anybody's life ("i've had good times, now it's all downhill"), well at least sans wars, poverty or illness. Although In covid times everything is turned on its head. I don't know if anyone can advise and guarantee people they will be rid of the existential dread by the time it's their turn to die. But who the fuck knows.

Out of curiosity, why wouldn't you consider going to a psychiatrist? Bad experience, other issues?

[Patman360]

[Repo]

[RoundTheBend]

I read somewhere people are hitting their mid-life crisis earlier and earlier.

The key to life some philosopher said I'm forgetting is figuring out life outside yourself.

I think it's natural to reflect life differently as you age.

Anyway, I've gone through/am going through a similar thing.

Sometimes stuff like mindfulness or EMDR or meditation centers me into the now and helps. You can logic all you want, but those emotions don't go away without resolution/making sense of them emotionally.

And there are shit social workers/psychologists, etc., so I get that. If you feel motivated, there are plenty of online resources for mental health. Just like a good teacher, a good social worker/psychologist can help you navigate it.

Wish you all the best figuring this out for yourself, but you ain't alone.