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Applerill
Autistic Princess <3
Gender: Female
Age: 31
Location: Chicago 
- #1
- Posted: 05/07/2011 13:56
- Post subject: Crazy Frog: The Best Pans Ever
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Okay, I sorta hinted at this in my "RYM Bottom 100" thread, but the reviews for Crazy Frog's Crazy Hits were so immaculately true that I had to publish them here.
| Quote: | | At the dawn of the 2000s, Swedish scientists discovered a new species of frog. For years it was impossible to conduct a serious investigation about the behavior of the new species. Also, as tests progressed many experts died in suspicious circumstances. (Rectal cancer, massive ear bleeding, poisoning, uncontrollable diarrhea). Finally, in 2005, recordings of the elusive new species were leaked to the internet. Soon the hypnotic song of the frog seduced a lot of people (mainly in England; where the sick chant of the frog was a huge hit)... but none of them knew the consequences. Despite attempts of the scientific community to halt the spread of the plague, people continued to be seduced by this abomination of nature. The scientists called it 'Crazy Frog' (Bufo Suckadelicous) by their ability to drive their victims to advanced stages of madness and stupidity. From 2005 to date global warming has increased. The rate of people with cancer too. And by 2012 the entire planet will be destroyed. You can guess who caused all this. |
| Quote: | | If you like this when you first heard it, kill yourself. |
| Quote: | | Simply astounding in both it's depth and complexity. Crazy frog is truly the greatest musician of our time. A legend very similar to Beethoven and The Beatles. |
| Quote: | Dearest Kelsey,
Over the past couple of who knows when, we've been recommending albums to each other. Now when it comes to music, we are both completely different individuals. Your weapons of choice revolve around Hard Rock and Progressive Rock while mine revolve around Lo-Fi and Twee Pop. I don't truly remember how we started this. I guess I felt it would be a good way to listen to some music I wouldn't go out of my way to listen and I hoped you felt the same way. And so it began, the recommendations. I gave you Setting Sons and Let It Be, you gave me Rising Force and Abigail. I gave you III, you gave me Hotel California. I came to the conclusion that you're just giving me bad albums just to mess with me which I didn't mind. I mean, it looks like neither of us were truly enjoying these recommendations. So what if you didn't care for The Modern Lovers and so what if I hated The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. We were having fun, I think. But then came the most recent proposition. I came up with a good one. A Distant Shore by the always lovely Tracey Thorn. I thought to myself "There's no way she can hate this." Well, you didn't think much of it but that's not the point. The point is the album that you gave me to listen to. You gave me Crazy Frog Presents Crazy Hits.
First let me point out that that is the ugliest frog I've ever seen. He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, oversized headphones, and what appears to be his tail looks like he just whipped out his dork. This was a fair warning of things to come. But I figured seeing how you had already heard A Distant Shore, I figured I had no choice but to listen to it. This album is horrible. Seriously, all these songs were pretty bad to begin with. I don't know why anyone would cover them. Wait, is it right to call it a cover? I mean, the only true difference is that they've added a bunch of annoying noise to the songs, thus making them worse. And to add insult to injury, I accidentally downloaded the expanded version without my knowledge. So I had to listen to 19 songs rather than 11, which I believe is the original version. I ask myself who would make this but I dare not ask the bigger question: Who would buy this?
I don't know, Kelsey. This album may be one of the worse I've ever heard and it's all because of you. Did any of my albums do that to you? I doubt it. You've caused me a lot of pain. My dreams are filled random beep-beeps and such. I can't seem to get it out of my head no matter how much booze I use. Maybe it's time we should stop this before one of us truly gets hurt or worse, go psychotic and devote all their time ridding the world of horrible Eurodance music by creating a troupe of suicide bombers whose main targets are Ritmo Latino stores and chintzy clubs who don't check for ID. So this is goodbye. There were a lot of trials and tribulations in our existence but didn't we have a nice time?
I took the last Chocolate Rice Krispy Square and the toilet is clogged. Sorry.
Yours Truly,
Toire Ganeet |
| Quote: | Before I can truly review this collection of noise, I feel I must define exactly what I'm reviewing. Clearly this is not a musical album. Considering Crazy Frog's original nickname "The Annoying Thing", I think it's safe to assume that this odd blue thing was never intended to become something artistic. Thus, I do not condemn the creator of "The Annoying Thing" with the following few harsh sentences, but rather I condemn those responsible for molding it into its novelty techno form that we see in the bright orange picture above. More, I condemn the listeners that allowed for such musical atrocities as "Axel F" to achieve chart success while actual "songs" lagged in comparison commercially. Children are exempt, as they cannot understand what they're subjecting themselves to.
The worst music in the history of humankind can best be summed up in one word: Badingdingdingdingdingdingdangkssshhhdooooooong
http://www.tekzoned.com/instest/
This album is audio torture. Only once have I listened through each track in full, and despite doing everything in my power to stay distracted from the noise, it was quite possibly the worst half an hour of musical terror I've ever endured. I bought this thing with every hope that it would be as terrible as the worst rated album on RateYourMusic should be, bad enough to sit alone in the 0.5 stars slot defining with certainty how bad I feel an album must be to occupy that space. I'd never rate it without listening to it completely, and I expected it to at least make me laugh.
At first, I did laugh. The absurdly cheesy techno effects coupled with The Annoying Thing's trademark gibberish was something that I couldn't take seriously no matter how hard I tried to be an unbiased observer. That incredulity only lasted maybe five minutes, however, as the album soon became something too annoying to stand. Very rarely do I find music so bothersome that I'm actually angered by it, but Crazy Frog truly grated on my nerves to the point that finishing the album was a chore I'd never be able to justify. It was every bit as horrible as I knew it would be, but it was that powerful and impactful suckage that allowed me faith that this is 0.5 bad and not 1.0 bad or better.
I hate this album. I hate Crazy Frog. I deserve to be ridiculed for stepping out of bounds of my own tastes just for the sake of completing a rating curve on a cataloging website. I paid for this album. Anyone reading this review, I encourage you to PM me with the proper scolding words that will make me suffer adequately for having contributed to the survival of the blue thing with the tiny little penis. Were I to be exposed to this with repetition, I'd be begging for my own padded cell by the third spin. |
| Quote: | 'Did you know? Crazy Frog is the reason there is no cure to AIDS. And global warming.'
---Bazooka Joe facts, number 58. |
| Quote: | I am a very tolerant man. I have a fine taste, but I can resist bad music or films to the end. I have watched the complete 'Manos: The Hands of Fate', for God's sake. But this...
Oh lord, what have we done? |
__________
Guys, I'd hate to say it, but this might be worse than Brokencyde. What do you guys think?
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ShaneSpear
Thread Killah
Moderator
- #2
- Posted: 05/07/2011 14:16
- Post subject:
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Eh, I think it's more fun to take an album that's pretty universally loved and then read the one-star reviews on Amazon.com
| Quote: | This review is from: Odelay (Audio CD)
Judging by the reviews I'd read on the normally reliable Amazon.com and what I'd heard from my friends, I expected genius. As my title suggests, I was let down. Actually, that's an understatement. I was curb-kicked. Then beaten mercilessly. This album is awkward in many places, far too busy in many others, and just plain boring. Beck's techno skills pale in comparison to the Chemical Brothers and Fatboy Slim, and his rapping (if you can call it that) is lame. This CD is just plain weak. Don't buy it. You're throwing your money away. If you want to hear some quality stuff, go buy "Hello Nasty" or "You've Come a Long Way Baby." |
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