A Personal Apology Thread

Anonymous · 2014-01-13T19:05:21-05:00

Whew, this was a hard one to start. I know you'll judge me negatively for posting this, but... I just had to get it off my chest. Seeing the results of the BEUAs just made the relationships I have here more... personal. I feel overwhelmed with guilt about all of the people I've wronged on here over the last six months and the only way I can think of to cope with it is user-by-user apologies. *breathes deeply* Ok, here goes... @Jackwc: For the time I said I wanted to put on a Mona Lisa mask and beat you with a toy sled, that was very disrespectful and I'm sorry. The truth is, if I met you in real life, I would probably use whatever blunt object I could get my hands on. @tekin: When I said that you use big words to compensate for having a small penis, I didn't mean it. I'm sure those two things are completely unrelated. @swedenman: I am very sorry for making fun of you for being a furry. That is your life decision and it is not my place to judge you for it. @kidamnesiac/@goaway: I'm just sorry that you're such a horrible person. I mean, really... that just sucks for you. @The Poe: I'm sorry I suggested that you might be running a secret cabal of teen music enthusiasts in which members were encouraged to wear aluminum hats to block out stray popular music. My evidence for that was mostly circumstantial. @an_outlaw: For the time I said that you were planning to write a memoir in which every fourth word was the name of a Disney princess, and the time that I said that your cryptic posts reminded me of the psychotic ramblings of a mass murderer, and the time I posted a picture of Michael Jackson when asked how I pictured you in real life, and the time I said I was going to put on a muscle suit and black face and go to your house to scare the crap out of you... hmm... I lost my train of thought on this one. @SquishyPuffDave: In my psychoanalysis of you, I said that the real SquishyPuffDave died months ago in a freak sexting accident involving JMan. I am sorry for causing confusion there, I know you survived the accident. @JMan: The time I convinced you that I had posted pro-gay-rights fliers in downtown Baltimore with your personal information, it was not true and I apologize. It was actually Washington, D.C. @everyone: I am sorry for any inconvenience or discomfort my presence here might have caused. Not to worry, though, I have begun therapy and my psychologist feels fairly confident that I will be able to dismiss you all as schizophrenic hallucinations by the end of the year. Much love to all, Sp4 P.S. Anyone else who wants to clear their conscience about something, feel free to post here.

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Lima

SilverWalrus wrote:

If you're not posting as a ridiculous caricature of yourself you're doing BEA wrong.

Corrrrecto

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Happymeal

Precedent wrote:

It sounded right to me :-k

So, who are you?

Precedent

Happymeal wrote:

So, who are you?

Call me Gavin, what else would you like to know?

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