I Need Help

Anonymous · 2013-10-22T20:17:48-04:00

Hey, guys. I'm usually not one to whine to strangers on the internet, but I'm at a really difficult point in my life and I could use some advice. Anyway, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 22 months now, and it's pretty serious. For example, we've been living together for the past two semesters. We were pretty much crazy about each other from the get-go, and while, like all couples, we would fight on occasion, we've pretty much always been really into each other. Now, sort of out of the blue (I had an inkling something was up, but I wasn't sure what), she wanted to talk to me today, and she told me that she'd been thinking and that she thinks we might both be better off if we broke up. Needless to say, this was a bit of a shocker, but I of course heard her out. Anyway, she didn't want to break up right away. Tomorrow morning she's leaving for a conference in New Orleans with the school newspaper staff and she returns Sunday afternoon. She said we could talk about it more then. She said that I could text her this weekend if I wanted to, but I think it would probably be best to give her some space, which means I'll be going about 5 days without seeing her or talking to her. Anyway, I just don't know what to do. I'm crazy about her and am completely unprepared for this. Obviously I'll respect her decision whatever it may be, but this is the longest and most committed relationship I've ever been in, and the thought of losing her is genuinely killing me :( So how do you guys deal with breakups? Or worse, potential impending breakups? What do you do to take your mind off of things? If you have any advice for me, I'd love to hear it, and if not, thanks for lending a sympathetic ear. I need it right now.

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Jhereko wrote:

Just as long as you've been clear with her what your feelings about her are there's not much more you can do. You could possibly ask her if you guys could look it at it as a break rather than a break up so that you can both get the space needed but maybe that's not what is needed. People have broken up before and got back together - not saying that's what this is but if this is meant to be you need to let it happen organically and not force her to love you on your time. As Junodog said it might be a great chance to spend time on yourself rather than losing yourself in her. I haven't been in a relationship for that long so I can't even imagine what you're going through but we are all here for you if you need us and as always music is your friend where you can find comfort and understanding.

Link

This pretty much word-for-word!
My girlfriend actually broke up with me recently, though not really (would take a lot of explaining, our relationship is weird), but initially I did still feel that pang of thinking I was losing her. This song is cathartic as hell, I was obsessing over it for a few days (still am):

Link

But yeah, maybe just try to focus on something. Work on creating something! I think that would help. And try to be as empathetic with her decision as possible. Good luck, hope everything turns out okay for you.

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