[RFNAPLES]

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Curmference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, “Keep off the Grass.”

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One said, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other said, “Are you sure?” The first replied, “Yes, I’m positive.”

25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends in the hope at least one of the puns would make one laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Top 100 Greatest Music Albums by RFNAPLES
Bubbling Under The Top 100 Greatest Music Albums, Part 1 by RFNAPLES

[Jackwc]

This thread ought to be "punny".
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A dick that's bigger than the sun.

Music sucks. Check out my favourite movies, fam:
http://letterboxd.com/jackiegigantic/

[Jackwc]

The "Occupy Jupiter" movement was crushed. They just didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
_________________
A dick that's bigger than the sun.

Music sucks. Check out my favourite movies, fam:
http://letterboxd.com/jackiegigantic/

[RFNAPLES]

1. Question: Why do we still have troops in Germany? Answer: To keep the Russians in Czech.
2. You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
3. Being in politics is just like playing golf: you are trapped in one bad lie after another.
4. Why can a man never starve in the Great Desert? Because he can eat the sand which is there. But what brought the sandwiches there? Why, Noah sent Ham, and his descendants mustered and bred.
5. Where do mathematicians go on weekends? To a Möbius strip club!
6. π is only half a pie.
7. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
8. Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
9. Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York.
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Top 100 Greatest Music Albums by RFNAPLES
Bubbling Under The Top 100 Greatest Music Albums, Part 1 by RFNAPLES

[RFNAPLES]

Revival
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Top 100 Greatest Music Albums by RFNAPLES
Bubbling Under The Top 100 Greatest Music Albums, Part 1 by RFNAPLES

[Polythene Pam]

Has anyone noticed the severe shortage of midgets lately?

I heard they were filming the hobbit

Well here's hoping the stunt men don't get short changed

[JMan]

In the Sexiest Artists thread, I put Beyoncé and said "Is she a single lady at the moment?"

What do you call two squids that look alike? I-tentacle.

btw, Napes, that first pun is freaking awesome, man!

[Facetious]

My dream is to make a 10-track album with the tenth titled "No Pun In Ten Did".