[Jackwc]

So, as I'm typing this, I am in my kitchen cooking myself up some late-night, post-studying, I'm-kinda-baked burritos for munchies, and I thought: I'm actually a bit of an expert on this. Why not share my knowledge with the people I love? So I put together this helpful guide so that YOU MAY TOO make your own delicious burritos!

The rice is one of the most VITAL ingredients. This is heart to the entire operation. Here's what you do: make some long grain white rice in a pot (no, not brown rice, you damn hippy), the way you'd normally prepare it in a pot (if you don't know how to cook rice... look it up I guess) but keep a bay leaf in the pot while it cooks. When it's done, add a bit of cilantro (2-3 tsp usually works for me - depends on how much you like cilantro or just how much rice you made, but you can also dull it down with only 1 tsp - or no cilantro at all!). Add a pinch of sea salt and the juice of about half a lime, then taste to make sure you've balanced the flavours properly - what you want is for the lime taste to ring out, but not to be too strong that it overwhelms the flavour of the rice or the cilantro. Just enough for a "kick".

(^ check out my alternative rice recipe on page 2 for basmati rice, I think it's better)

While the rice is going, chop up some meat of your choice - chicken, beef, pork, children, whatever - and get a lil' stirfry going on with some garlic, onions, maybe a pepper or too and a can of (remember to use the contents of the can, not the can itself) chipotles in adobo sauce. Fry it up in oil, throw in some spices - I like to hit it with just a little ginger, cumin and a hit of tabasco, but that's just me. Get the meat nice and tender and you're ready to go.

Lastly is the beans - I've gone with various recipes, but to get the perfect beans for this you often need a LOT of time, and as a stoner I have no such patience. I'm just using some caned Ole El Paso refried beans right now - the TRADITIONAL refried beans, not the fucking vegetarian ones. ...unless you're a vegetarian, I guess, but if you are, why are you here? I've already outlined that this burrito will have meat in it. W/e, if you want you can just up the bean ratio and use vegetarian beans and have vegetarian burritos, you damn hippy...

Ok, now it's time to pack the burrito. Take a large tortilla - the biggest you can buy at the supermarket, because bigger burritos are BETTER burritos - and pile on the ingredients in a sort of "log" shape in the centre of the burrito, never getting too close to the sides. Place the rice first, then the beans, then the meat. Follow this with any toppings of your choice - hot sauce, salsa (I'm using store bought Old El Paso salsa, but homemade is ALWAYS better), cheese, guacamole... whatever the hell you want. Now, remember, the rice:meat:bean ratio should always remain 2:1:~>1 or 2:1:0.85. Salsa and other toppings vary from person to person, but the three main ingredients of the burrito must stay in the ratio I have given you.

Rolling the burrito is an art in and of itself:
Begin by folding both ENDS of the burritos towards the center. Most newbies make the mistake of folding the sides instead - don't. Ends first. Then fold one of the two sides over and - this is important - fold in the two corners of the other side of the tortilla (kinda like with a paper airplane) before folding it over the filling as well. These little "airplane folds" will "lock" the burrito in shape so it doesn't unravel on its own.

Then, in a lightly-greased saucepan (this step is mostly optional, but trust me, it makes it all the much better), fry the burrito while exerting moderate pressure (not so much that your rupture the burrito - that's the flipside, you may accidentally destroy your lovingly crafter gourmet burrito). Flip and repeat once the burrito has begun to slightly "golden".

Remove your burrito from the saucepan and stuff it in your fat, gaping maw. It will be delicious.

You know, sometimes, when I'm feeling risky, I use potato instead of rice - crazy, I know, but it makes the whole thing into an entirely different experience. But more on that later, maybe.
_________________
A dick that's bigger than the sun.

Music sucks. Check out my favourite movies, fam:
http://letterboxd.com/jackiegigantic/

[Polythene Pam]

😎

Mmmm this sounds delicious

Can I come over for dinner sometime?

[Jackwc]

Sounds cool, I'm only like 8,000 miles away. Be at my place by 6pm tomorrow night, or in half an hour if you want to grab the last burrito now.
_________________
A dick that's bigger than the sun.

Music sucks. Check out my favourite movies, fam:
http://letterboxd.com/jackiegigantic/

[Polythene Pam]

[40footwolf]

SF Burritos are the best in the world. My mom makes some dope-ass New Mexico burritos, though.

These are my thoughts on burritos.
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I love all music. It makes you feel like living. Silence is death.

-John Cassavettes

[GARY]

[Wombi]

Those actually sound amazing! We should have a BEA cook-off 😁

I'll cook Canadian Burrito's:

1. Fry some bacon
2. Put it in a tortilla (or a very soft waffle)
3. Slather it in Maple syrup.
4. Wrap it up and eat it!

[GARY]

[Jackwc]

[Jackwc]

Ok, so, this morning I still had some tortillas left, but no rice, so... I made myself a nice ole' Canadian burrito.

Thought I'd share, cause it went better than expected.

I took a bag of dutch potatoes, skinned 'em and chopped 'em up nice. Threw them in a pan with some oil, hit it up with some chopped fresh basil, salt and pepper. I wasn't so happy with the texture, so I took just over half the fried potatoes and mashed them slightly with some melted butter, then mixed it back with the other chopped potatoes and added a little mushroom gravy. While this was going on a made a big pile of maple-glazed bacon and some ground beef and mixed it all up as well.

Then made beans. Canned bacon re-fried beans. We've been over this.

Stacked the said ingredients, potatoes, beans, meat in that order, and devoured. It tasted good. Have it for breakfast.
_________________
A dick that's bigger than the sun.

Music sucks. Check out my favourite movies, fam:
http://letterboxd.com/jackiegigantic/