The Great BEA Sequel

[SquishypuffDave]

He walked towards the gate. He'd heard of this place before, but had never thought he'd actually find it. His months of walking had left him unkempt and filthy. He didn't mind. Not when it meant he could enter this most prestigious of places.
He looked up at the sign and and mouthed the letters to himself:
"B-E-A"


"Butthole-Eaters Anonymous", cackled a voice above him. The pilgrim, shocked at such irreverent language in a holy place like this, glared upwards. A goblin sat atop the gate, cleaning his ear with a knife.
"And who might you be?", demanded the pilgrim.
"I am the Djawdge. My family has guarded this gate for 96 generations."

[Applerill]

Can someone email me a .Doc version of the story last time? That would be amazing.

[Saoirse]

Nervously, the pilgrim looked up at the imposing creature. He didn't look all that menacing from far away, but when he dropped down to the pilgrim's side, the man could see the utter ferocity in the dwadje's deathly glare. "I-I j-just n-n-need to see-see somebody here", gulped the pilgrim, who started to make his way through the gate, but the creature blocked his path with what looked like a giant woodwind instrument. "Why, of course, but first... play something?" uttered the Djawdje, punctuating the sentence with such an eerie cackle that suggested this request was a matter of life and death.

[Jackwc]

So he sucked off Djawdje and walked right by.
_________________
A dick that's bigger than the sun.

Music sucks. Check out my favourite movies, fam:
http://letterboxd.com/jackiegigantic/

[Saoirse]

Recollecting himself, the pilgrim slowly made his way towards the BEA village he had heard so much about and yet never actually believed it was a place that existed in this world. And upon entering, it was even more fantastical and startling then he could've ever imagined. Before he could register any more of it, though, a short man drunkenly stumbled up to him and shoved what looked like a picture of a girl with a defiant expression and giant pink hair in his face, crying out (in what seemed like utter desperation) "h-have, h-have you SEEN HER!!! SHE'S MISSSINNNNGGGG!!"

[thejoj96]

The pilgrim then went into the strange place and was directed to a room labeled "new". In this room there were several teenagers and young adults, who had been created within the last year, who were all running around naked and screaming the lyrics to "Only Skin" by Joanna Newsom. They were called lampshits. Suddenly, a transsexual entered the room and ordered the people to welcome the pilgrim. "I am the great Saoirse", said the transsexual. "Hello, my name is Lethalnezzle", muttered the nervous pilgrim. "Hello", clamored the people all at once. Suddenly, a strange liquid appeared from one of the lampshit's gooch.

[alelsupreme]

Lethal could tell he'd gotten into a situation he wanted out of, looking desperately for a way out he found a tiny door at the back. He'd almost gotten to it when suddenly, someone jumped in front of him. An old man with a steely, dead gaze. Lethal tried to move around him, but the old man Simpy blocked the doorway and, in a monotone buzz, said "Romney, or Obama?"