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Ironic Karma
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Location: Kansas
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- #1
- Posted: 07/06/2010 15:35
- Post subject: My Blog
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Hey guys, I've always been a huge fan of music and I want to be a music critic when I get older and maybe a musical journalist. So to practice my skills I created a blog to review new albums, movies and some video games. I kind of write like a columnist since I don't use the traditional writing style, but I feel like I don't want to use the correct uses of writing. I feel like I want to talk to the people I'm writing so I want to use "you" "I" and "me" and all that stuff. I can't stand all the bullshit rules that writing classes make you do.
So here it is:
http://lavinrant.blogspot.com/
Criticism and comments is always welcomed, I think I'm improving, the first few reviews I did were pretty bad and short and didn't really express my real writing style, but now I taught myself to kind of improve on it and use a lot of variety in my writing.
And since this is on the internet I'm prepared to get "this shit is terrible" and other stuff, but you guys are pretty cool guys so I'm not worried about that.
Remember this is MY OPINION, not anyone else's. =] I'm sure you all know that.
Oh and I'm also trying to teach myself to listen to bad albums and try and process in my mind why it's bad and say it. I also am working on trying not to get influenced by other reviews. The only review site I try and get some ideas is Allmusic.com because they look at the music and not what the artist is doing and they have some good description that I seem to be thinking. So yeah, I'm done typing I've gone on long enough.
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Applerill
Autistic Princess <3
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Location: Chicago
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- #2
- Posted: 07/06/2010 15:47
- Post subject:
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Not bad. I like your Amnesiac review.
The one thing I would recommend to you is to try and experiment a little bit more. For instance, you can use an intro that's random-yet-insightful.
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Ironic Karma
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Location: Kansas
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- #3
- Posted: 07/06/2010 16:19
- Post subject:
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Applerill wrote: | Not bad. I like your Amnesiac review.
The one thing I would recommend to you is to try and experiment a little bit more. For instance, you can use an intro that's random-yet-insightful. |
Thank you, the Amnesiac review is probably my best since I know the Radiohead catalogue so well.
And that's a really good idea, I've thought about doing something like that, but haven't even tried it yet.
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Bork
Executive Hillbilly
Location: Vinson Mountain, GA
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- #4
- Posted: 07/06/2010 17:04
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I like it. However...I read what you wrote about the use of you and I and me and get your point, but if you want to reach a wider audience (of people who don't know you) you may want to tone down especially the I's and Me's quite a bit. As a reader extensive use of that (as in the Amnesiac review) makes it feel like you are writing about you, and in all honesty most people outside your immediate friends and family have little or no interest in you. They may however have an interest in what you have to say about, in this case, music. By all means go ahead and break the "bullshit rules" of the writing class, but break them because you understand them and find that you do better without them, not because you don't want to be bothered to understand why they are there.
All in all pretty good though. Keep writing.
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Ironic Karma
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Location: Kansas
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- #5
- Posted: 07/06/2010 19:50
- Post subject:
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Hmm, thank you. I can see what you're saying. I guess if I go back and read my reviews it does kind of sound like I'm talking about myself. That is some good food for thought. I like your suggestion, I'm definitely going to be taking that into account.
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Ironic Karma
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Location: Kansas
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- #6
- Posted: 07/20/2010 20:10
- Post subject:
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I've been doing a lot more reviews. So check 'em out. I think I'm improving steadily.
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luis
Location: Buenos Aires, ARG
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- #7
- Posted: 07/21/2010 18:15
- Post subject:
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I read your Red Dead Redemption review.
Imo, the cons are that you talk too much about the game, and not about what it has for good or for bad. You should skip most of the details everybody knows and give your opinion. That's why I like Gamespot reviews instead of IGN, and check which site is more popular. The other aspect I would change is the overall tone of the review. If I had to guess how you had scored the game after reading the review, I would have said 7.0/10, instead of 9.6
That's what I would improve. Overall, It is good. I also like writing reviews but in my first language (which is spanish) ; I have a Pink Floyd blog were I try to note the unseen aspects of the albums, instead of saying that 'X album was released in 19XX' or 'X song was the most played in X radio for X weeks'.
About read dead: Great game, one of the best of this gen and in my top 5 Xbox360 games. 9.7/10 _________________ And If a Double Decker Bus, Crashes into us...
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Ironic Karma
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Location: Kansas
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- #8
- Posted: 07/22/2010 02:17
- Post subject:
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Quote: | If I had to guess how you had scored the game after reading the review, I would have said 7.0/10, instead of 9.6 |
Really? I thought I was pretty positive throughout.
Well, thank you I don't usually do a lot of video game reviews, maybe on occasion, my main focus is music and a little bit of movies.
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Freddie55
Gender: Male
Location: Toronto, ON
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- #9
- Posted: 07/22/2010 04:32
- Post subject:
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I just read your Fang Island review and have some comments. First, I want to compliment you on your obvious effort to help your readers experience an album even if they have not yet listened to it. I quite enjoyed your depth of analysis and colour commentary.
Now I am going to sound like a critical English teacher. You have a typo in the very first sentence of the review. There are grammar errors throughout the piece. Also, I noticed at least two instances where you used a word incorrectly in terms of its meaning. For example you use the word distinct when you really mean distinguish. Good grammar and spelling are essential to good writing. I am not a writing expert however I do lots of professional writing. One lesson that I was taught in my teens and I still use today is, in the first sentence or two tell the reader what your conclusion is (thesis sentence). Did you like the album? The body of your piece explains how you came to that conclusion and nothing else. The end of your piece mirrors the beginning.
Have a look at this link. It might help.
http://www.bookrags.com/articles/4.html
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Ironic Karma
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Location: Kansas
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- #10
- Posted: 07/22/2010 16:35
- Post subject:
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Indeed Freddie, I do need to improve my grammar a lot. I'm just pretty lazy at the moment, but I might go back and spell check the whole thing. And yeah I still remember all of the thesis stuff in English, frankly I hated it, but it is a good thing to do.
Thank you, by the way.
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