Best one liners

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sheep21 Profile

Tell you're best one liners here

Here are two I saw comedian Milton Jones use recently

My grandfather never threw anything away; He died in the war holding a hand grenade

I was sitting in traffic the other day; Got run over.
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Back after a while

purple

her legs are harder to shut than the JonBenet Ramsey case

/thread

Jasonconfused If We Make It We Can All Sit Back and Laugh Profile
Washington

"I had an ant farm once. Them fellas didn't grow shit!" - Mitch Hedberg (RIP)

Borve Baunehoj

You're gay

HigherThanTheSun Profile
UK

Hedgehogs, why can't they just share the hedge?

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.

Do you ever get that when you're half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, 'I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'

Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said you just can't let it go can you?

🤣

All courtesy of Tim Vine.
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Shut up mate you're boring!

ptaylor1989 Profile

Tobias:
Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.

Does that count? I hope arrested development counts

Guest

HigherThanTheSun wrote:

Hedgehogs, why can't they just share the hedge?

All courtesy of Tim Vine.

I couldn't remember who said it, but that's the first one that came into my head when I saw the thread.

thejoj96

"the"
-Raymond Taco

Puncture Repair

My parents wouldn't buy me a skateboard for Christmas so the next morning I got an old wooden board from the shed, a hammer and some nails and beat them to death.

Jasonconfused If We Make It We Can All Sit Back and Laugh Profile
Washington

Puncture Repair wrote:

My parents wouldn't buy me a skateboard for Christmas so the next morning I got an old wooden board from the shed, a hammer and some nails and beat them to death.

Attaboy!

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