Ten Worst Albums of All Time

[nutso42]

[benpaco]

[RepoMan]

[sp4cetiger]

I think the worst albums of all time would be totally forgettable, eliciting no strong emotions of any kind in their listeners. It's unlikely I would have been introduced to such things, so I won't try to comment on the worst albums of all time. I can, however, share some of the worst listening experiences I've ever had:

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The Smiths by The Smiths

Listen #: 1
Description of Experience: It was how I imagine it would sound if a mutated koala-cat hybrid scraped his claws across a chalkboard.
Long-term Prognosis: That was the old me -- I love the Smiths now. Go figure.

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Ten by Pearl Jam

Listen #: Not sure, but >10
Description of Experience: The musical representation of my accumulated frustration over 10+ years of post-grunge banality.
Long-term Prognosis: Not good. I was neutral on this album as a teen and liked to think I appreciated it for what it was, but it has not aged well.

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Autobahn by Kraftwerk

Listen #: 1
Description of Experience: Have you ever seen that episode of South Park where Stan's grandfather demonstrates to him what it's like to be really old? He locks him in a dark closet and forces him to listen to Enya. That was more or less how I felt listening to this, even without the dark closet.
Long-term Prognosis: Unclear. It's hard to not appreciate the far-reaching influence of Kraftwerk, even on music that I love, but I still find this unbearable.

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Aladdin Sane by David Bowie

Listen #: ~5
Description of Experience: I can't... I don't know.
Long-term Prognosis: Fuck if I know, I love David Bowie and his preceding album is in my all-time top 20. Maybe that's the contrast that's killing me here.

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Sinatra: A Man & His Music by Frank Sinatra

Listen #: 1
Description of Experience: "Is he actually telling the story of his career in between songs? And these aren't even new recordings? What the... this won Grammy Album of the Year?! IN 1967???!!!!!!"
Long-term Prognosis: Please.

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Ascension by John Coltrane

Listen #: 3
Description of Experience: I actually drifted off to sleep while listening to this in the middle of the day and my subconscious mind was an absolute fail at processing it. My dream visions were tainted with fear and anxiety... imps dancing around a bonfire with all the things I held dear at its center. FREEDOM COMES AT A COST!
Long-term Prognosis: Fine, I don't think it left a permanent scar. I just gotta make sure to stay awake while listening.

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The Barbra Streisand Album by Barbra Streisand

Listen #: 1
Description of Experience: The self-satisfaction was just oozing from every track and I kinda wanted to hurt her. (I may be a sexist, don't tell Defago's minority committee.)
Long-term Prognosis: Erm... I support women's rights, really I do.

[satiemaniac]

idk about worst but...

Really Bad Canon Albums (1999 and earlier)
Jeff Buckley - Grace
The Clash - London Calling
John Lennon - Imagine
Pink Floyd - The Wall
Elvis Presley - Elvis Presley
Queen - A Night at the Opera
Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks
Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
U2 - The Joshua Tree
Frank Zappa - Apostrophe

Trendy Bullshit (2000s-now)
Childish Gambino - Because the Internet
Death Grips - No Love Deep Web
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Girls - Album
Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening
Radiohead - In Rainbows
The Strokes - Is This It
Tame Impala - Lonerism
Vampire Weekend - Modern Vampires of the City

And by far the worst album I've ever heard with absolutely no trend appeal, a piece from an "artist" (pornographer, more like it) named Mattin:

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[Wombi]

Easier to compile than I thought it'd be

10

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9

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8

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7

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6

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5

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4

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3

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2

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1

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[Hayden]

My 10 lowest ratings:

1. Tool - Lateralus
2. Superchunk - On The Mouth
3. Neu - Neu 2
4. Blackie - Gen
5. Screaming Trees - Dust
6. Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown
7. TNGHT - TNGHT
8. Steve Winwood - Arc of A Diver
9. Keith Urban - Defying Gravity
10. Landon Tewers - Dead Kid

Honourable mentions
Barry White - Can't Get Enough
Nickelback - Dark Horse
&
Stereo MC's - Connected
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[meccalecca]

[Wombi]

[Necharsian]

wow jhereko what an embarrassing list. not even one mention of these guys

Diamond Eyes by Deftones

even the BEA database hates them by pixelating their cover art